Classic Bike Guide - Real rides, real riders

Clarky’s Corner - May 2011

I have a pal who, up until recently, tolerated my unsociable motorcycling nature and enjoyed riding around with me, though our ideas of how it should be done were poles apart. He had a big modern motorcycle, with a heated seat and handgrips and once he had donned his flip-front helmet, he would proceed to plug himself into the bike.

He had an air bag jacket, which connected to the bike and inflated if the chord was pulled, under which was a variable heat waistcoat. He had a built-in sat nav connected to a speaker inside his helmet and a mouth piece in which to talk should anyone call him on his Blue Tooth. He had any number of permutations of screen height, suspension hardness and seat density and it often took him up to 10 minutes to get everything set up. He would set the sat nav for ‘home’ and then head off in the opposite direction, all the while complaining that the constantly nagging voice in his ear was like having his wife with him…

Me? Apart from the thump of the old banger beneath me, I’d be closeted within my own thoughts. He doesn’t get the appeal, there again neither do I. Funny this old motorbike lark innit!.

Nigel Clark
Editor